Me

I feel numb
I feel like I am not myself, and when i am I'm just not good enough
I feel ashamed of who I am. Being me sucks.
I feel trapped and alone
I struggle to understand what my defections are
I do not understand why I am a complete social reject.
I am disturbed by the fact of this. I don't get it.
I wish someone would just tell me
I wish they would tell me what makes me so unlikeable.
I do not think I am that bad - Am I?

I feel detatched from the rest of the world.
I am on the outside looking in.
I am beginning to be afraid that by being myself I am making the situation worse.
I cannot understand what I am doing so wrong.
Am I stupid? Do I not understand properly?
I go against being a rebel in society. I am reluctant to cause havoc. That makes me bad?
I am that? You dislike me because of that?
I am not good enough for you. I do not arise to your standards.

I hate that.
I hate that you ignore me because I am the way I am.
I can change.
I don't want to change.
I like who I am

I think sometimes
I think that if people accepted me for who I am, I'd feel better.
I don't know if it will ever happen
Do I not deserve it?
I shiver.
I am annoyed by the way people judge me. The way I am perceived.

I feel numb, no one can hear me or understand how I feel.
I am myself.
I wish I could just fit in.

Andrew.